Wait, so they blew it up twice?!

I worry that after reading this post, some of you will write me off, and discontinue your interest in my blog.  But I'm going to do it anyway because it made my husband (keith from here on out) laugh so hard that we were both crying a little.

------

In highschool, my adorable and dorky husband had a big, big, big addiction to Star Wars.  He watched it all the time, quoted it, had life-size cardboard cut outs in his bedroom and wore pins with lea's cinnamon buns on his (awesome) denim jackets.   

I'm sure it was painfully obvious that he was a Star Wars fanatic.  We never would have gotten along back then.  He was somewhat original, while I watched MTV's TRL like it was the only thing I needed to sustain myself other than water, food, and oxygen. 

Yes, this was during the era of the boy band.  I'm not proud of it, but I do still get a little giddy whenever I hear certain nsync or backstreet boys songs.  I'm also pretty (Ok, FINE I'm 100%) sure it wasn't even cool back then.

Regardless, we never would have been friends.  It just wouldn't have worked.  I would have thought his home-made bellbottoms were weird and he would have thought my sweater sets were lame.  I guess it's good that we never knew each other.  (by the way, we went to the same school, at the same time, but when 3,000+ hormone-crazed kids cram into one building... it's not easy to know EVERYone.)

Now that we're older and have moved on past our weird afflictions of the high school variety, it's often hilarious to look back and ponder our differences.  So, earlier today he was inspired to have me describe what I thought the plot of Star Wars was after he watched this video in his studio.

The following is what I said.  Please take into account that I have never seen Star Wars.  This is what I've gleaned from conversations I've heard and random pop culture references.  We have now decided that maybe I shouldn't see the movies.  It would ruin my "vision."

"Well, ok.  The movies start off with the words that fly across the screen.  Something about the world being bad.  They blame it on Darth.  So, another group of guys is trying to keep Darth at bay using light swords.  Wait. Light Sabers.  Yeah, Sabers."

At this point, keith is staring at me with his mouth open, which I don't understand cause I haven't even gotten to the good part yet. 

"Ok, so there's this guy, Hans Solo and another guy whose name I can't remember, but I think he's Harrison Ford.  And Harrison Ford is crazy.  Always shooting things in his space pod."

This is where the hysterical laughing started.

"So they find another guy named Obiewan who teaches Hans Solo to use the force.  And somewhere in there they talk to Princess Lea. I'm not sure what was going on with her, but I do know that she had her hair in buns and was always wearing a tunic, except for this one time when she was in a bikini as a sex slave for a giant slug.  I'm not sure how you have sex with a giant slug, but it's a good thing they got her out of that gross mess."

At this point he couldn't even see because of laughter tears, and I was starting to laugh because apparently I was getting things wrong. 

"Ok, well I also know that they had some robot friends.  One was short and did a lot of booop boop doo doo do dee doo to talk and the other one, the big gold man-shaped one could tell what he was saying.  And then there's Chewy.  He's from another planet where everyone looks like teddy rumpskin.... you know, the talking bear?!"

I think somewhere around here he stopped laughing and started just staring at me again.

"Ok, so... Long story short they break onto Darth's ship with the princess and ... Oh wait, somewhere in there Lea and Hans fall in love... And there's Yoda.... Crap.  I forgot about Yoda. Yoda's like a 'the force' sensei. And he speaks sentences completely out of order.  Anyway, so they break onto the ship and try to kill Darth. But then Darth says 'Luke I am your Father.'

WAIT! THAT'S his Name! That's other guys Name is LUKE!"  

Hysterical Laughing recommence.

"Anyway, Then the ship blows up.  Maybe Darth's dead?  I'm not sure why it blows up.  I think Hans did it."

So, yes.  That's what I would describe as the story of the Star Wars.   And then Keith enlightened me through more laughter.  Although, not in too much detail...  Apparently it's Han Solo. Not Hans Solo.  and HE is played by Harrison Ford.  Then of course there's Luke Skywalker, who does most of the things that I thought Han Did. And the big slug is named Java the hut. Wait. Jaba the hut? I couldn't really tell.