On any given day, I send Sam about 15 unprompted text messages that say "I'M RUINED." (the picture is of one of my favorite responses to my proclamation. So I embroidered it on dish towel. Click the pic to read.)
I send these messages because I'm 119% sure that something inside of me broke off --it was an emotional regulator-- when I read the Twilight series.
Before December, I like to think that I was a moderately normal human being. I read a book every week and when it was over, there were a few hours in which I wondered about the lives of the characters. I'd let my mind wander over hypothetical plot lines, but by the next week, the novel's original plot remained, but for some reason I had absolutely no recollection of the main characters names. I blame this memory loss partly on the fact that I DO DID read a semi-substantial book every week.
That is, until a month ago. The ladies and I made something of a pact to go see the movie once we had all read the first book. "what's all the hype?! I dont understand teenagers" And so...I started reading the devil vampire books on a rainy car-ride with my parents to go get a piece of equipment that was purchased on ebay.
Big mistake. BIG EFFING MISTAKE.
For 14 hours in a car, I did nothing but submerge myself in the world of Edward Cullen (vampire sexystrordinaire... not a word) and Bella Swan (normal girl with crush on hot, sweet, overprotective vampire). And then I was hooked, the regulator broke off and was dropped by the wayside, probably somewhere in Tennessee.
I think if I had only had 3o minutes to read at a time it would have been one thing. But after 9 hours in the car, I had finished the first book, and asked my parents to STOP ALONG THE HIGHWAY SO I COULD BUY BOOK 2. Yes. That's right. I didn't ask for a "pee stop" all day, but I did ask for a book stop.
Somewhere in the mystical world of Forks, WA I got lost. And I think my soul is there somewhere, searching for a fantasy.
This is only part of the reason why I want to go there. First and foremost, I want my soul back. Secondly, I think I need a little fantasy. But most importantly, I want to go there because I think that it will break the mystery. It'll help me get over this... this... this absolutely ridiculous affliction that I have.
That's right folks, I'm addicted to a Tween Novel Series. I know I've alluded to it before, but I'm not sure you understand. I really... really really really don't know what happened, but I'm broken. I think about Edward and his vampire/wolfy cronies all the time. It's a mess. I'm a mess. My life's a mess.
I'm ruined.
But until I can find my regulator, I think I'm doomed to listen to the books on tape... conceivably, for the rest of eternity.
7 comments:
Your honesty and courage have helped me to peek my head out of the twilight closet. At first I thought there were only two schools of thought when it came to this series: those who would gladly change their name to Bella, tattoo Cullen on their foreheads, and scamper off into the wet green forests of Washington never to be seen again (I hope), and those that hated the book(s) or better yet deemed them beneath their standards of literature.
Now I know I'm not alone! I couldn't put those stupid books down... but I recognize that Irving, Vonnegut, Orwell, and others are appalled...
That's it. I'm going to read those damn books. That's some crazy power to be having on so many "normal" people.
Jill. I have a group of girl friends (and two guys) who are all in the same boat. You are definitely NOT alone.
hah
Raul, I've said it once, and I'll say it again... READ! then tell me your reaction for my loose survey. But dont say you weren't warned.
Oh, and Jill:
As a litmus test for how crazy you really are (please be as crazy as we are...)
Have you read the fifth book that's only in PDF format online?
Please say yes.
Start reading all the Harry Potter books again. (no offense to the Cullen lovers- I just think JK Rowling is just a better writer). I will ease the addiction.
My roommate started reading Edward's version and realizing that he was just as obcessed with her ruined it for M. That might work too....
You really need to start the Outlander series. If you want a delicious protagonist- there you go.
Have I read the "5th book"... only twice? *sheepish grin*
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