Due to the fact that I can only really think of one, I'm starting to believe we really only have ONE rule. Do not ever hang out in the bathroom while the other person is on the toilet. Just because we're seated doesn't mean it's powwow time. (alright, so there are others, like... don't fuck around, obviously)
Until about 2 years ago, I'm pretty sure no one had ever seen me pee (this doesn't count my mother, of course. I'm sure I gave her a number of golden showers as a baby). And then Sam and I started "team drunk." We don't have jersey's but we do drink whiskey. In excess. But only once in a while.
On our inaugural Team Drunk night, Sam and I went to "thebar" and then proceeded to consume a bottle of Jameson that had JUST been opened and used to pour 2 shots. Over the course of the next 3 hours, we finished that bottle. Yes. Finished. I only remember the first hour and 2 small snippets from the rest of the night. Sam remembers that I drank more whiskey than she did, and not much more. At this point in my "adulthood", I have a hard time thinking of two people finishing a fifth in one night, but we finished an honest-to-god bottle.
Somewhere around hour 3, we had to go to the bathroom. So we ran next door to the cafe where I was the boss (yes! way to undermine your authority) and Sam was everyone's favorite. And we did what drunk sorority girls have been perfecting for all of time. We paraded into the bathroom as a duo. You know, held each other's hands. Just in case peeing had gotten significantly harder.
I vaguely recall trying to hide my face from my bunnies with my sweater when we were headed into the bathroom, but I'm sure it looked ridiculous. In fact, I don't even remember having on a sweater, so it's very possible that I flashed a cafe full of people. Cause I think I was wearing a skirt. (OH DAMNIT. Why does this memory just get MORE ridiculous.) And then I sat on the floor while Sam peed, and vice-versa.
There were, of course, other hilarious things that happened that night.
1: I got lost on my way home from the bar, which is scary because I lived in the superghetto and hilarious because I was visible from the bar when I called Sam to tell her I was lost. She waved and told me to "keep on!" This statement kept me keepin' on.
2: Whenever I'm wasted I murmur in french, and that night, the teams-man in me was shouting out phrases you'd shout at a (european) football match at the top of my lungs. Luckily my roommates were both at work. Only Penny (dog) witnessed that. I think I threw her a ball and said goooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaal for a long long LOONG time. She got scared and went to her room.
But what sticks out the most to me is the peeing. And the laughing. So sam, I know you've seen lots of people pee at gigs and shows (and some of those bitches are shooting up, which is CREEPY! Don't do lines on bathroom sinks!) but you're the only person to see me pee, not to mention the only person I'VE seen pee.
I was reminded of team drunk part 1 this morning when my dogs came barreling into the bathroom while I was peeing. EXCUSE ME! This is me time!
We really have to fix that latch. And Sam, wanna take on a fifth? Or... what's half of a fifth?
